remember the kings of wretched old. locked up obsolete in monumental cold.

Sunday, May 30, 2004

creation is a marvel.

the binding energy needed to hold protons together in a nucleus is actually greater than that gravitational energy holding two stars in stationary positions. every single minute atom present everywhere around us, be it visible or not, are held together by such strong forces. lovely.

creation is a marvel. kiddaz.

the usual suspects were here at
6:23 PM

Thursday, May 27, 2004

it was a bitter scene at the police academy. the seventh year in ac i have finally witnessed the crumbling of ac domination in the rugby stage. sad. but life has to move on. no point dwelling on the past. moving on may be a more subtle approach. i would like to commend the ac ruggers for putting up a good fight.

aside from that, team india was happily cheering their all for the school. i was just at one side spectating the whole event. the highlight of the whole event: navin needed to "take five" (a term only few associates might know). and thus. he turned back to team india and shouted. "IMMORTALITY! IT'S YOURS! TAKE IT!" and just hurried along to his targeted remote destination. firstly, the words are phrased wrongly. next, i rather think that current situation was rather inapt to use that phrase. nevertheless, i thought it was rather funny.

coolpai.

the usual suspects were here at
8:44 PM

Sunday, May 23, 2004

no one has control or has any knowledge of the future ills of one's life. no one has any power over tomorrow. but everyone has to live the moment of NOW and TODAY. live TODAY and every NOW with every bit of incensed happiness and excitement. that's the reason behind the sin in every suicide. you do NOT own the RIGHT to your own life. neither does your parents. your life will always mean hope to an everafter. suicide would definitely mean otherwise. consider those who do not have the chance to live on. consider those who are bed-ridden. they struggle. they want to live. they have much unaccomplished. never render your parents injustice. dont render yourself injustice.

suicide is for cowards, for fucktwits. they consider only running away, never solution. bravery is never to choose self-destruction, but to consider confrontation.

to my acquaintance in coma, we will pray for you.

the usual suspects were here at
6:58 PM

Friday, May 21, 2004

you must have noticed the time lag in between my previous few blog entries. you must have noticed that i have nothing left in me to blog about. you must also have realised you couldnt care less at all.

i have always resented systems, authorities, governments, whatever. systems ought to be present to put things in place, to control the majority. i then realised that i was part of the minority blabbering on about my misfits in school and what not. miserable me. but it does not help that my mentality was utterly marred by constant lashes from teachers and parents. a plethora of cold, sarcastic terms were somewhat omnipresent to me all the time, be it school or my home sweet home. how nice. any human being with any innate senses will bite back. and yes i did. and yes i suffered worse.

andrew i share your sentiments as well. except mine is probably a perpetual desire to shut them all up. my desire will never be met.

end.

the usual suspects were here at
8:10 PM

Sunday, May 16, 2004

since the end of the term exams, it dawned to me there are some inevitable happenings around me. events that i have no control of, i think. first, i wont even get a single A level passing grade for my miserable mid terms. next, more news of excellent relationships around me. leaves me with much space to think and presume my next step. but then again, i couldnt care less. maybe i am just a selfish little leprechaun stuck in my little world of oblivion. maybe i think too highly of myself. maybe i am tainted.

Listening to... Stone Temple Pilots - Creep

the usual suspects were here at
3:52 PM

Sunday, May 09, 2004

wed is the last day of my exams. mambo nite? anyone?

the usual suspects were here at
12:01 AM

Sunday, May 02, 2004

dont you just love my school?

i loved acsi. i may not be all that patriotic towards the ac schools but i do feel that i belong to that big family. and yes i did. DID. past tense. until it dawned to me i have arrived in acjc. oh hell. this is the school that aims for academic excellence, in being sports specialists, and in being a value-added school. how queer. remember the pressurising tones exerted upon failing students, that our mere presence in the school had already jeopardised another SUITABLE CANDIDATE. how convincing. how come that other BETTER STUDENT DID NOT MAKE IT INTO THE SCHOOL IN THE FIRST PLACE? tsktsk.

among my friends rooted in this marvellous college, i have seen many who stumbled, either remained that way, or left for greener pastures. there is the fact that the upbringing enforced upon us encourages us forth, to leave school so as not to sabotage them with our projected failure results. and of course, the prejudiced attitude against retainees are but a bloody certainty. whoever stayed on in its curriculum would be living in his/her darned fallacy. lovely. i belong to that contingent of fools. those who cannot withstand the torrent of mental blows asserted on us simply suffer breakdown. some of my friends who left school are simply still influenced by this marvellous upbringing.

i love my school.

come. as you are. as you were. as i want you to be. as a friend. as a friend. as an old enemy... i swear that i dont have a gun...

the usual suspects were here at
8:54 PM

Come As You Are - Nirvana

Come as you are, as you were,
As I want you to be
As a friend, as a friend, as an old enemy.
Take your time, hurry up
The choice is yours, don't be late.
Take a rest, as a friend, as an old memoria
Memoria (x4)

Come dowsed in mud, soaked in bleach
As I want you to be
As a trend, as a friend, as an old memoria
Memoria (x4)

And I swear that I don't have a gun
No I don't have a gun (x3)

Memoria (x4)

Memoria - and I don't have a gun

And I swear that I don't have a gun
No I don't have a gun (x5)

Memoria (x2)

Listening to... Nirvana - Come As You Are

the usual suspects were here at
8:38 PM

Saturday, May 01, 2004

did i ever mention that my whole estate was once a blooming graveyard?
walking back to my house at around midnight time is really not for the faint of hearted at all. maybe it did not help that my estate was especially serene, even in the daytime. the proportion of elderly is also especially high with this particular area. on a general scale, i have no preference to the higher propensity of noise. i enjoyed reticence. but in this issue i hate it. i hate it to the fucking core. and maybe it really does not help when i walk past a deserted secondary school near my area at night i get the chills down my spine. maybe it does not help that i experienced certain sightings there before. how helpful that it is an inevitable road back home. how sweet.

i now loathe the inapt reticence sinking into my skin...

Listening to... Nirvana - Come As You Are

the usual suspects were here at
10:08 PM

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