yesterday was another day of anti-anger management. all hell broke loose as no one seems to be able to compromise, not even a little. different perspectives from different stands from different viewpoints. each seemed to be right, but each to the extreme ends of reasoning. had a little chat with andrew after a long day of work. reached home only to get blasted at by parents for late-night usage of computer and phone. maybe i was too tired. that why i lost my sanity rather fast. i snapped back at them, igniting their raging fumes to an even higher extent. i did not bother about that. the same childish, rigid rules had smacked right into my face. they were pointless. what's the point of having regulations when somethings are beyond our control? simply by using soft understanding tone you can at least attempt to get your kids to change. they did not relent. and so i didnt. my father was annoyed at my mother blasting at me. naturally he got up and sought to silence the source of his misery, which ultimately caused his insomnia. the fucking dumb rules got to me as inflexible and simply too conservative. society modernised but obviously their brains havent. simple understanding and tender care was never the case in my family. i refrained from losing control of my fists. consequence may have been a mere calamity. MERE. after the heated argument which might have woken up the entire neighbourhood, there was a chilling reticence. yes, the fucking reticence that sounded so sweet. so long i wished for just serenity but never granted. with that i began to cool down and straighten out my thoughts. it seemed that they are the constant. trying to change them would be as good as smacking the lion in the face, i would have fucked myself up the backside for good. elders and relatives would most certainly side with my stubborn parents, a course of nature. they say i should change, so as to be a filial son. im considered an ingrate because i slacked with my academics, stayed out late occasionally. they forgot that i was never a gangster, never abused drugs and anything along that line. whatever it is, the double standards seem to be some sort of universal fact, as factual as the winter is harsh. no doubt about that. straying away from their standard set of values mean i am incorrigible. i would try to change myself. but the regulations pressed against me seemed really darn ridiculous. i never slept a wink the whole night. it's a fucked up world, i mean it. i have no idea how many times such incidents even broke out to be a fight. i simply lost count.

this is a bloody old song. but the content still applies to me. always loved this song.
Still Listening to... The Offspring - The Kids Arent Alright

the usual suspects were here at
7:14 PM